Life

Less Mine

Once treasured, now trash
Overflowing giant leaf bags.
Jumbles of old clothes, boxed for
Tomorrow’s Goodwill Run.
Pots and plates heading north
Fit neatly in new plastic bins.

A day of dust and decisions
Making it all less mine.

I Meditated This Morning

I mediated this morning. It’s been a while.

6:27 AM.
10 minute timer set.
Comfortable chair
Bare feet square
Hands on knees
Three deep breaths
And a neck roll.

Breath in. Ummmm. Breath out. Soooo.

How long has it been since I did this? Why does my mouth make that noise when I exhale? Are thoughts supposed to drift across my mind? Or is it my forehead?

Breath in. Ummmm. Breath out. Soooo.

Is it funny that my thoughts are the Wicked Witch of the West on her bicycle? with Toto’s there too. Are those my thoughts, incarnate? Isn’t that bird chirping loudly? I love spring. Is it a lark?

Breath in. Ummmm. Breath out. Soooo.

Nightingale? Lark? Remember that in Romeo & Juliet? Was that movie in the 60s? Or was it the 70s? Wasn’t Judy in college when we went with mom to see it at the Pleasant Hill drive-in? Isn’t there a 55+ community there now? It was a double feature with The Great Gatsby. Robert Redford. Mia Farrow. That was weird.

Breath in. Ummmm. Breath out. Soooo.

Wasn’t Romeo and Juliet great though? Olivia Hussy was Juliet. Wasn’t she actually 13? How did they get away with that? Mom made us leave before it was over. We were so mad.

Breath in. Ummmm. Breath out. Soooo.

Mom said it had gotten too late and she had to get to bed. Right in the middle of the movie. We couldn’t believe it. How long was it until I saw the entire movie after that? Was it years? Remember back then you had to wait for a re-release? Then on the way home we got caught waiting for a train. For about an hour. Was the movie over by the time the train passed? It was Karma.

Breath in. Ummmm. Breath out. Soooo.

Alarm rings.
Times up.
That went fast.

I should do that more often.

Choppy Water

A few ambitious branches glow
burnt umber, crimson and a
golden shade seen on parrots

We paddle through choppy water

Most trees lining the shore cling
to late August greens, dull and
forlorn as summer winds to an end

We paddle through choppy water

Our canoe is heavy with camping things
And firewood, for flames and pondering

We paddle through choppy water

A lone loon flies low
Parallel to the water’s surface
A precise, effortless distance
There is no flapping, simply
Levitation with forward motion
Isn’t that magic?

We paddle through choppy water

Now, an island’s fancy greeting
A rocky shore with full moon rising
Laying a glistening water runway
Bathing our canoe in moonlight

A tent, an island, a sweet retreat

2018, Summer

The river had flooded its banks that day
Swirling around tree trunks and stranding
Muddy puddles and mosquitos along our path
We jumped the puddles and swatted bugs
I walked only a step ahead under the sun

Puffy clouds floated above when we froze
Barely breathing as that electric blue dart
Whizzed then helicopter hovered over cloudy puddles
Four translucent silver wings glittering

Then eight

Two dragonflies dancing in unabashed performance

One simple moment of life affirming perfection
Standing inches apart, inhaling magic

Minutes of awe laying a path
As wide eyes absored joyful views
Drenched in nature’s excellence

Stillness

Maybe I fell asleep in the stillness
Of my shaded backyard hammock.
An orange cocoon stretched between
Hundred foot tall black walnut trees,
Shrouding me as I gently rocked
In the sweet peace of bird song and
Quiet summer breezes.

Hovering in sweet stillness.
Under cool leaves in silence.

The twenty-minute chime startled
Me back to semi-alert lucidity.
The still minutes of my meditating
Mind seemed brief in drift, slowing
Shallow breath, hands crossed over
Chest in a deathlike repose, basking in
The underbelly of my open heart.

Hovering in sweet stillness.
Under cool leaves in silence.

1982

The last drunk
A slow motion drive
An innocent parked car crushed
A spaghetti jumble of steel

Bent fenders infused with heartbreak
Bumpers twisted in sorrowful tears

Today, the pain, again
Vicarious aguish as the world cries
Cheering the broken with love
And that overflowing kindness

Then, Recovery

Wonderful pain
Painful wonder
Diamond hard
Glowing beauty
As stunning
As life

Mother’s words
Explode

“It’s a good life,” she said

Inviting wholehearted
Joy

Bask Joyfully

Hover in sweet silence
Shaded by cool leaves
Shrouded, gently rocking
In the sweet peace of bird
Song and quiet breezes

Stillness.

Drift in sweet meditation
Calmed by shallow breath
Swaddled, lovingly swaying
In the sweet peace of bird
Song and quiet breezes

Stillness

Bask joyfully
In the underbelly
Of your open heart.

Nourish

Seven AM rowdy bird screams reverb in the oppressive heat
Blasting unknown calls as others sing secret lyrics.
The chaotic symphony infuses my morning with calm.
Serenity amid the clatter.
The definition of contradiction.

Peace

I dry my seat from overnight dew as
A shaky speckled fawn sniffs
around the edges of the patio below.
Her saddle a constellation of white dots.
White tail flicking intermittently some
unseen fly as she moves out of my
Coffee spot gaze.

Welcome

On this other new dawn the weather is cooler. Relief.
The mother stands in the mulch
Just beyond the pool deck munching grass.
Yesterday’s fawn bounds toward her mom.
Baby’s head under belly tilts, grasping teat,
Sucking hard as her baby tail wags at warp speed.
Rhythmically lifting front hoof in time or excitement,
Like any joyful baby thrilling at mama connection.

Nourish